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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?